Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

Why do flat earthers exist?

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I understand how hurricane paths work

Who is the most annoying character in the Office?

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

Can you turn 150 pages into a 5 minute presentation before a meeting?

I know who the president of Turkey really is

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

Why do I feel so lazy every time I get into my room?

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

How do you confront your own family for not inviting you or leaving you out of things?

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

What contributed to the popularity of The Beatles' song 'Yesterday'? Was it due to its simplicity, lyrics, or other factors?

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

Do you think Japan will have same-sex marriage by 2030?

I have complete contempt for fakery

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

Mysterious fast radio bursts help astronomers pinpoint cosmic ‘missing’ matter - CNN

I actually pay taxes

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

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I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

How was your first cuckolding experience as a husband?

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

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I see through liars

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

What is the degree of influence of Saudi Wahhabism on the modern Muslim world?

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I have a reading level above third grade

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I don’t cotton to rapists

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I don’t buy bullshit

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I can read

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I can count

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP